[Emma said that] she didn't want to get married.
"But why", I asked?
'Because I don't want to be a wife. I love him, but…"
She didn't know how to explain this mixture of feelings that were tearing her, like a bed of snakes biting each other. She wanted to be free, she wanted to keep meeting her friends without needing to call Pete and tell him where she was. She didn't want him to worry about her, about her not calling him when she was late. She didn't want responsibility. She didn't want him to worry.
But she knew he would. He loved her. She suspected, he loved her more than she loved him. But he would still get used to her, after a few years, and would treat her as granted. She did love him, his lovely face, his great figure. But mostly his light-heartedness that differed him so much from her. She was a cynic and a pessimist, a brooding introvert. She could be charming, even dazzling, but it tired her so, to be observed, to be in public. She knew she would become lazy to be dazzling for him. She knew they would become a pair of people bored in each other's company soon. At least, we won't interfere with each other, I hope.
I am afraid.
She sighed. She didn't know how to explain.
"But why", I asked?
'Because I don't want to be a wife. I love him, but…"
She didn't know how to explain this mixture of feelings that were tearing her, like a bed of snakes biting each other. She wanted to be free, she wanted to keep meeting her friends without needing to call Pete and tell him where she was. She didn't want him to worry about her, about her not calling him when she was late. She didn't want responsibility. She didn't want him to worry.
But she knew he would. He loved her. She suspected, he loved her more than she loved him. But he would still get used to her, after a few years, and would treat her as granted. She did love him, his lovely face, his great figure. But mostly his light-heartedness that differed him so much from her. She was a cynic and a pessimist, a brooding introvert. She could be charming, even dazzling, but it tired her so, to be observed, to be in public. She knew she would become lazy to be dazzling for him. She knew they would become a pair of people bored in each other's company soon. At least, we won't interfere with each other, I hope.
I am afraid.
She sighed. She didn't know how to explain.
Коментарі
Дописати коментар